Liane Cartman and Randy Marsh: Love?
by eBayaNgel2000
Summary: Liane Cartman gets a job at dating phone service. She starts talking to Randy Marsh on the phone. Then, they meet in person and start dating. Will Sharon Marsh find out? Will Stan and Cartman be stepbrothers? Rated T for sexual content and language.
1. Liane Gets the Job

Chapter One: Cartman's Mom goes Man-Searching

"Poopsykins? Are you in there?" said Liane Cartman.

Then Cartman opened the door. "What did I do, mom?"

"I just wanted to let you know the babysitter's is here," said Liane.

"Who is it?"

"It's Stan's nice older sister, Shelley," said Liane.

"Oh no!" said Cartman. "She calls me, Stan, Kyle, Butters and Kenny "turds." Not very many people like her."

"She doesn't mean it intentionally, dear. Now, go downstairs and meet her."

"I've met her before, mom."

"OK. Shelley, he's coming!"

"Hello, Eric," said Shelley.

"Hey, Shelley," said Cartman unenthusiastically.

"Your mom's going on a date."

"Whatever."

"Have fun Eric!" Then Liane left for the door.

It turns out she was going to apply for a job at a phone sex place.

"Hello," said the owner of the place. "You must be Liane Cartman."

"Yes, I am."

"Please tell us more about yourself."

"Well, I'm single, have a kid and that's about it."

"I see. You're hired."

"Oh. How?"

"As long as you're single and somewhat pretty, you're hired."

"Thank you, sir."

"Welcome. Your first client is Mr. Randy Marsh. His call is coming.. now!"

"Hello?"

"Hey sexy beast."

"Hey there, sexy."

"So, what's your name?"

"My name is Liane..."

"That's a sexy name."

"Tell me about yourself."

So they conversed for 12 hours. Liane made $120 bucks.

Will Sharon Marsh learn of Randy's addiction and infatuation for Liane?

To be continued...


	2. Suspicion and Liane gets caught

Chapter Two: Suspicion

"Mom," said Cartman. "Do I have to be watched by Shelley Marsh again?"

"Hmm... you could play with her brother," said Liane.

"OK," he replied.

"But Shelley has to watch you both," added Liane.

"DAMMIT!"

"Hey Cartman," said Stan as he and Shelley came to the door.

"Hey."

'Um, Shelley has chicken-pox, so she might not do such a good job of babysitting," said Stan.

"OK," said Liane. Then as they went in, Liane left for the car. After Liane turned to Stan's house, Stan and Cartman decided to make Shelley the laughing stock of the neighborhood by dressing her up in a really short skirt and half-shirt singing "Sex and Candy."

Meanwhile, Liane was at the Marshes' and then Sharon's car pulled up. Randy panicked for a minuted.

"Liane," said Randy. "Hide in the closet."

"Why?"

"My wife's here. Hide in the goddamn closet."

Liane quickly ran to Sharon's closet, trapped in all of her clothes.

"Randy, I'm home."

"Uh, hi hun." Randy was half-smiling.

"Randy, could you step aside? I need my pajamas out of the closet. I had a really long day of work."

"No!"

"Why not, Randy?" said Sharon. She was giving him the "Are you up to something" look.

"There's a naked picture of a lady in there and Stanley's dead Aunt Flo is in there."

"Don't try to scare me, Randy. You're full of shit," said Sharon. "I'll just sleep downstairs." Then she stormed off.

Then Randy looked to make sure Sharon wasn't listening, he went to the closet and said "Liane, climb out the window so you don't get caught."

"But I only have my undergarments on."

"Here's some jeans and shirt," said Randy as Liane put them on. "Climb out. Love you."

Then Liane climbed out Randy's bedroom window and as she was inches from touching the ground, Sharon saw her.

"RANDY MARSH!!!" screamed Sharon.

"Oh shit," said Randy.

So will this lead to Jerry Springer or will this lead to a divorce?

To be continued...


	3. Jerry Springer and no more drama

Chapter Three: Sharon vs. Randy Marsh and Liane Cartman

"Dude, let's watch Jerry Springer. Terrence and Phillip aren't on until 12," said Stan.

Cartman turned on Jerry Springer. Then he saw Stan's mom.

"So, this lady named Sharon Marsh has gone on here, claiming her husband had an affair with her friend and neighbor," said Jerry Springer.

"Dude, your mom's on TV," said Cartman.

Stan was hiding his face. He was so embarassed because his mother and father plus his friend's mom were all on there on there.

"Why would my dad have an affair?" said Shelley.

"So, let's bring her husband, Randy Marsh," said Jerry Springer.

"BOO!! BOO!!!" yelled the audience.

"SCREW YOU GUYS! YOU'VE AFFAIRS TOO AND YOU KNOW IT!" screamed Randy as he flipped them off.

"So Randy," said Jerry Springer. "Is it true you had an affair?"

"Well, it started when I became addicted to phone sex. Then we agreed to meet in person and then we kind of, you know," said Randy.

"BASTARD!" yelled a member in the audience. Randy flipped him off.

"Let's bring out the woman who he cheated on, Liane Cartman," said Jerry.

"Boo! Boo!"

"Your mom's on TV, fat ass," said Shelley.

Cartman was doing the same thing Stan was. He had never been as embarassed as Stan ever has in his lifetime.

"So Liane, is it true you were having an affair with Randy Marsh?"

"Yes."

"WHORE!!!" screamed an audience member.

"But, I am not married. I took a job at a phone sex place and Randy called me and we agreed to have a date. I kind of knew he was married, but then his wife saw me," said Liane. She was crying. "I'm so sorry, Sharon. I'll never do that to your husband again."

'Aww," said some of the members.

"Liar," said one.

"I guess they'll have to resolve this on their own," said Jerry.

Then they went backstage.

"Liane, I do forgive you. We can still be good friends," said Sharon. "Randy, you can have one last kiss with her and discuss what you'll do with her." Then Sharon walked off to the bathroom.

"Liane, we can be friends, but you'll need another man in your life," said Randy. Then they shared a passionate last kiss.

So no more issues with each other and Randy and Sharon were still married. Liane got fired from the place, but she was still looking for a father for Cartman.

Note: There will be no sequel. I repeat, no sequel.


End file.
